This year for Lent, I’m giving up

What do you call a Roman fighter with curly hair in his teeth? Gladiator. (Glad he ate her)

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool.

I’m the Spare Queen All I know is how to make a mess and then make sense of it.

Sorry, I’m using all 43 grocery carts. Use a basket.

“son, did i ever tell you about how I served in Nom?” “dad, don’t you mean Nam?” “sorry son i ate a small cake at the end of that sentence”

Are you getting older and wiser? No he’s getting older and wider!

Guy walks into a bar Metal bar. Ouch

We all know that 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but do you know why 9 is afraid of 6? Because she bit his dick last time

I’m deathly afraid of elevators. I take a lot of steps to avoid them.