I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts… Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it’

sometimes i see a bird & i hate it for no reason. i’m not proud of it but its true. they have tiny heads & even smaller hearts. they hate us

The 1996 film “Crack” was directed by whom? Francis Snort Cokealot

What’s the definition of eternity 4 blondes at a 4 way stop

I SAW ON THE NEWS THAT SOME GUY IN ANOTHER STATE DIED ARE YOU OKAY – my mom

if your grave doesnt say “rest in peace” on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

I like my women like I like my coffee ground up and in the freezer.

Does Hitler have a favorite number? Hitler: Nine.

1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone “It’s done. He’s dead.” 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can

Q: What is a sea monster’s favorite dish? A: Fish and ships.