A skeleton walks into a bar and says… “Barkeeper, I’ll have a beer and a mop”

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? WANNA RIDE BIKES??

A woman walks up to me and says “give me 12 inches and make it hurt”…. So i banged her 4 times and hit her w/ a brick

Hmmm… Jack Nicholson. He’s that guy from the Laker’s games right?

Without that little voice in your head, you wouldn’t be able to read this.

Christ, you’re ENORRRRMUS!! What did the leprechaun say when he met Jesus?

Neutrinos “Sorry we don’t serve neutrinos,” says the barman. A neutrino walks into a bar.

People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.

What do you call an amish man with his hand up a horse’s ass? A mechanic.

It’s uncomfortable when the neighbor’s kids look like you.