[bankruptcy court] JUDGE: *rubbing bridge of nose* Says here you bought 1000 bouncy castles? ME: *lips on mic* For my kingdom, Your Honor

What’s grey and comes in buckets? An elephant.

A Funeral Director isn’t the best position in this economy… It’s a dying trade

Why did the duck get kicked out of church? Because he was using fowl language!

What did the elephant say to the naked man? Dude, how the hell do you breathe through that thing?!?

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A quarterback.

What’s the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can’t tuna fish!!!

What’s grey and comes in buckets? An elephant!

Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.

When is Iran not Iran? When it’s a rock.