I heard there were shenanigans in Iowa last week Apparently it was Hillary’s cock and Bernie’s ass.

A robber broke into my house last night looking for money… So I woke up and started searching with him.

Caitlin Jenner and the Carolina Panthers have some things in common… There balls drop when they get hit by sacks.

You know what I hate about fashion designers? They are so clothes-minded.

I’ve been feeling really dizzy since yesterday I think I need to stop these New Year revolutions.

Why was 6 afraid of 5? Because 7 8 9

Yo mama so fat, when she fell over nobody was laughing… …but the ground was cracking up

He fucked his dad When mom found out she wanted to join. She wanted to do some kinky things with urination “Pee on our boy” The son didn’t want to Oedipus

Knock, Knock Who’s there? Hitler. Hitler who? For denying the holocaust you are now sentenced to ten years in an Austrian prison.

I went to therapy because of all the years I’ve been putting Chef Boyardee inside of me… I finally admitted how much he’s been sodium-izing me.