Maybe you never should have domesticated your peeves.

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner? Carbon dating.

The Barber of Seville by Aaron Floor

Women have all the answers to all your questions.nnnAnd you don’t even have to ask.

A black guy, a Muslim, and a racist walk into a bar… The bartender says, “The usual, Mr. President?”

What comes after 69? Mouthwash

Why was the EDM producer bad at fishing? Because he kept dropping the bass

I saw some crippled kid getting picked on the other day… He got kinda upset with me when I told him to stand up for himself.

Why did ranch break up with chicken wings? Because he blue cheese…

“Haven’t had to use my brakes in a few minutes. Better make sure they still work real quick.” — everyone in front of you on the highway.