when I talk about computers I make my motherboard

If I ever become a serial killer I am going to dispose of my victim’s bodies by throwing them into a bottomless pit It’s a floorless plan.

I know I shouldn’t, but I treat blacks and whites the same Speed Wash cycle.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

The Big C Saw my mate outside the Doctor’s today looking really worried. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “I’ve got the big C,”he said. “What, cancer?” “No, dyslexia.”

My dad’s never been proud of me The other day he asked how old I was, I said “twenty-one”. “When I was your age I was twenty-two” he replied.

How are woman and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave.

What’s the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter can escape the chambers

My pubic hair trimming business will limit itself to female customers for the first few months. I’m new to this, so I don’t want to go nuts right away.

What do you call a noodle that likes Reggae? A Pastafarian.