Wanna know what’s the most racist game ever? Chess. They never EVER let Black go first.

Wanna know what’s making the Head Lines? Corduroy Pillows that’s what

What do you call a obese fortune teller? A fortune teller, you FPHer!!!

Oh I thought you said VANILLA folder. Haha classic mix up. Seriously though take your folder it’s melting.

Where’d I drop my waffle? At the beach in San Diego.

I was sitting in a bar… When a guy yells out, “Linda why didn’t you give your mom any grandkids?” She yelled back, “Because I swallowed them all!”

I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, “At least they picked me”

Are you fu*** crazy? A squirrel with a nut having sex. Another squirrel sees her and asks: “Are you fucking crazy?” “No, I’m fucking nuts!”

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed? Yes but we cantaloupe.

This little piggy went to the market This little piggy stayed home This little piggy spread a swine flu virus And killed 250 million people