Did you hear about the Muslim Party? It was a blast

You guys wanna hear a construction joke? I’m working on it.

What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there’s more sunlight

When does CPR become necrophilia? When you are both stiff

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

I Got Banned From /r/twoxchromosomes I guess I am too male to understand (Y).

Hey stupid & ugly people that are brimming with self confidence. What meds are you on? I want some.

Shouldn’t octopus apendages be called eightacles?

I park in the farthest spot possible at the gym for the added benefit of eating my croissan’wich without being judged by people walking by.

The thing about insomnia is 372 raised swirl patterns on the ceiling.