TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.

The movie ”Finding Nemo” would’ve lasted only 5 minutes if his mother would’ve looked for him.

Is your refrigerator running? If so, I’ll vote for it.

It’s true that blacks can be racist too! But just like everything else in life, whites are always better at it.

hey you got a sec? next time someone asks you if you got a sec, you must simply reply” no i have lots of secs”

My neighbor Ron is mad at me just because my book ‘The Many Lawn Care Mistakes of My Neighbor Ron’ is a hit with both critics and readers.

english words that pitbull knows: -party -miami

My friend told me everytime he goes to this sub he finds new hilarious jokes I was surprised at first, but then I remembered he has a short-term memory.

I’ve been texting random numbers “hey are we taking salvia before or after church?”

The difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler. Usain Bolt managed to finish a race while Hitler couldn’t.