If your dog has weird unsightly nipples, it’s OK to throw 3 or 4 little bras on it.

Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he’s calling me to sell Amway products..

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owls. Owls who? Yes. Yes they do.

What did the Jewish pedophile say? “Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?”

Jokes (Water) Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That’s not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was…H to O.

How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry her

Grandma’s funeral ft. Pitbull

Got passed by a guy with a ponytail riding a moped so no I’m not ok.

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so pointless.

I advise you, don’t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.