I love salad! Just wish it had the taste & texture of pizza.

Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats The cops had nothing to go on

Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry was *rear ended* this morning. Now I understand why he Walks This Way.

Have your people call my people but keep in mind that my “people” are just stuffed animals with cordless phones glued to their necks.

Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits! What you mean those square ones? Yes! The ones you put butter on? Yes! Oh You’re Crackers!

Just watched some Midget Wrestling. It was a short fight.

Toy inventors make the best writers They have many novel ideas.

The other day I found two gold bars. I’ve always dreamed of an Au pair.

Sign language is a pretty handy skill

I get a lot of compliments on my stamp collection but philately will get you nowhere.