I farted in a Apple Store Too bad they didn’t have any *windows*.

Why do white girls walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they literally can’t even.

How do you know an r/jokes mod is a cyberman? [deleted]

How about we don’t pick a president this time and everyone promises to behave themselves.

Why can’t a nihilist use a pencil?…. because they cant find the point.

Me: YOU CAN DO IT SON! Son: Why are you being so encouraging? Are you drunk? Me: Yep. So pass your driving test or we’re walking home.

Knock knock Who’s there? Owls. Owls who? They certainly do

I date men whom have their life paths laid out firmly and don’t waver. Yes, their paths are Psycho and Socio, but consistency is admirable.

What’s the difference between a good joke and me not giving a shit? Fuck you

Two deaf guys… Two deaf guys, Ed and Harry, were hanging out talking, when Ed told Harry a joke. Harry laughed so hard he broke three fingers…