I wanna like most of the jokes here… But for the most part, I reddit before.

Boy, people who need attention continue to find new ways to get it, he tweeted.

Why did the atheist fail algebra? He didn’t believe in higher powers!

How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can’t get up that high!

You have a donkey and I have a rooster. Your donkey eats my roosters legs. What do you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass.

No thanks, fantasy football. I already have a fantasy boyfriend, a fantasy sex life & a fantasy bank account. I’m good.

Told my co-workers this joke about mandatory meetings. You really had to be there.

I’ll lean at a 45 degree angle if I’m so inclined.

What paper product speaks really quickly? Wrapping paper.

The only thing I’d like for you to say behind my back is “Do you like that?”