Yo momma’s privates are like Mars… It took a team of scientists decades to find moisture on it.

If you pluck a hair out of Hitler’s head… …do you now have a root of all evil?

Chinese people want to criticize Ronda so bad after that fight…..but they cant. They just end up saying her name, Ronda Rousey

What do you call a gay New Zealander? A Kiwi Fruit

[using ouija board] R2…L2….L1….R2…LEFT…DOWN… “what the hell?” [everyone is suddenly carrying like 8 different guns]

Let my legacy to this whole thing be a single outstretched middle finger with fire where a fingernail should be

What sexual position… Do you not want your new girlfriend to ask you put her in? The fetal position.

Life is a lot like chess You’ve always got to be thinking two steps ahead. And most people want to be white.

Why was the harvester pleaded guilty? Cause he’s a cereal killer.

If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.