The good thing about women who like F1 is that they like men who finish fast

Why is history called His story? Because it’s written by the Victors, not the Victorias.

Idea: An animated sitcom where the characters age and change clothes.

Sometimes I think I’m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza? He ate it before it was cool.

Why couldn’t the police arrest the drug dealer? Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

Ironically, I hate people who say “like us on Facebook”.

How come computers are soo smart? It is because they listen to their motherboard.

Why couldn’t the pig run? He pulled his hamstring!

Why did the cop cross the road? To shoot a black kid.