Stop with the boxing jokes guys… You’re beating a Mayweather’s girlfriend here.

The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96. Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears.

I like my women, like I like my coffee with cream in it

Why is there no phone books in china? Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number.

What’s the difference between a goat and a ram? I don’t goat my dick up a dead baby’s ass.

Two blondes are drawing money from an ATM. One of them says to the other… I love the sound of money being printed.

Addicted to pills? Don’t worry. They have a pill for that.

Spiderman’s villain should just be a glass jar and a piece of paper.

Why did the dog fail his driving test? Because he’s a dog. Dogs cannot drive.

CIVIL WAR SPOILER: A lot of people in the South still don’t know they lost.