What do you call a dragqueen in a truck? A Transporter

Dogs have non-traditional family structures… because they have four Pa’s.

Was going to tell my wife a joke about quantum theory… …but I didn’t want to Bohr here

I’ve got a shitty joke. Why did the poo have a crappy life? Because his dad is an arsehole

Why did the chicken cross the road? It got its head cut off

This guy and I were arguing in an elevator when all of the sudden it turned into a fist fight We really took it to the next level

KY jelly For when your cousin just ain’t feeling it.

Just named my dog Naked. Now im going to walk naked down the street eveyday.

Sorry, the dog stood on my keyboard and liked that Instagram photo of you from 47 weeks ago.

So this smoke detector is trying to tell me the battery is so dangerously low that it can only beep 4000 times?