In hell, you have to find the start to Scotch Tape over and over.

Why must rabbits never miss dinner? With out their tea they’d be Rabbis.

98% of Facebook is women telling each other how great they look.

What do Donald Trump supporters and flour have in common? They are both in bread.

Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?

I tried to cook something from scratch..and ended up summoning a demon.

Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t. What do you put in a toaster? I usually put bread in a toaster.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.

We’re probably accidentally giving ghosts handjobs all the time.