What do you call an impatient skin infection? *Rash*

If storks bring babies, what kind of bird doesn’t bring any babies? A swollow.

I’m bummed out because i was just diagnosed with alzheimer’s at least I don’t have alzheimer’s

I’m nog saying your mom’s a slut but when you were born she did slid you in and out a few times

Jack and jill Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. Jack had a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jills real name was Randy.

What’s the best thing about blow job? 5 minutes’ silence

Old friend: Wow! When the hell did you grow a beard? Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.

Yo mama’s so dumb… She heard it was chilly outside and ran and got a bowl

Actual quote from a kid visiting from China Q: Do you like it hear in America? K: Yes. Q: Why? K: Because the sky here is blue.