I stayed up all night, because I wanted to see where the sun went… Then it dawned on me.

There should be a “shame” setting on showerheads.

Did you hear, Tony the Tiger was murdered. It was a cereal killer

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Bridget ! Bridget who ? Bridget the end of the world !

Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school

What if birds have tiny human-like ears underneath their feathers? That’s certainly something to think about, but not during sex.

Fetty Wap could probably get more girls. Too bad he’s not much of a looker.

Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.

I would tell you jokes about perfect girlfriends But you wouldn’t get them

What do you get when a vampire bites a goblin? A Hemogoblin