If had a feminine side I would try and fcuk it.

Before Instagram people had to display their photos in fish tanks full of piss.

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic

What?s green and fluffy and comes from mars? A martian-mellow

Few people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts. His name was Frank

Why did the semen cross the road? I put the wrong socks on this morning.

Did you hear about the Buddhist that refused Novocaine during his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication…

If you finger a bum… you’re a hobosexual

Did you hear about the cartoonist being investigated? Police on the case say he has a sketchy past.

What did Stephen Hawking Say when his computer crashed? Nothing