We’re learning more about the sale of the L.A. Clippers. Insiders say it came down to a bidding war between Steve Ballmer and Oprah. I’ll let you guess who Donald Sterling rooted for.

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus. I watched Jurassic Park tonight, stole this.

Johnny Depp has announced that he has a mental issue He has Deppression

How many nuns can a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns? Nun.

“I’d like to make a large cash deposit” teller: ok, how much do you have? “Wow can’t a guy just share his dreams without being pressured?”

I never really wear camouflage. It’s just something that I can never see myself wearing.

Q: What do you call a tree from Tulsa? A: An oakie.

I’m training to be a sniper in the Communist Revolutionary Forces… … I’ll be the designated Marxman!

TIFU. She was on top.

What’s white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.