How did the Mexicans get across the border? They went through Juan by Juan. ^Forgive ^me.

Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are “your house keys” and “your house.” Well, son, that’s what drinking is like.

Why couldn’t the bike stand by itself? because it was two tired

School is like a boner It’s long and hard, unless you’re Asian.

What’s a stoners favorite word? Here! (Must be said like you are holding a hit in)

A perfect breakfast my perfect breakfast: my son on a box of wheaties, my girlfriend on the cover of playboy,my wife on the back of a milk carton…

What do you call a Chameleon that can’t change colors? Reptile dysfunction.

What is the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? Hockey players shower after three periods..

What’s the difference between a black joke and Mexican joke? Nothing. If you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

Donald Trump never seems to answer questions specifically. I guess the questions seem to trump him.