How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. You don’t need a light bulb when you have a glass ceiling

I just got accused of “plagiarism” Their words not mine!

Why don’t ducks become doctors? They are afraid of accusations of quackery

I once went out with a girl who worked with bees My friends said she was a keeper

Why does Donald Trump dislike trees? Because they’re brown and don’t speak English.

My ex DM’d me to say I’m acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he’s wrong.

I like my woman how I like my books Leather-bound and broken spined.

What’s the difference between 6 inches and 12 inches? 6 inches makes you day but 12 inches can make your hole weak.

Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

So this girl makes her own hummus. We’re in different tax brackets I’m guessing.