My OCD brings all the boys to the yard, where they’re sanitized and counted before I wash my hands of them.

Last night I dreamt I was a muffler I woke up exhausted

My walls are closing in. Crawling in my skin my Cell walls are closing in? HELP!

I have to come clean… So I just whack off in the shower.

I’m tired of people saying I sit too much and I will not stand for it

I love the smell of my F5 key… It’s just so refreshing!

A redditor got a girlfriend

The sadomasochist was arrested and put in front of a judge he got off with a slap on the wrist

What did earth say to the other planets? You guys have no life!

Nerdy pickup line. Hey baby, Are you uranium because I’m Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. 😉