How does a sloth hang itself? By trying to jump rope.

What weapon is most feared by knights? A can opener.

Did you hear about the man who was hit over the head with a bobble-head in a rice field? It’s the first reported case of a knick knack paddy whack.

Planned to go to Thailand for my vaca this year but after hearing about the ladyboys I thought Phuket

If Bill Cosby and Gwyneth Paltrow hooked up… …it would be an unconscious coupling.

*in court* Your honor,this case must be thrown out “On what grounds?” *points to defendants nametag: ABookByItsCover* *Judges head explodes*

Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death.

Who is the roundest knight at King Arthur’s table? Sir Cumference.

What’s the difference between men and women? Agenda

What did the pencil say? Nevermind, it’s pointless.