How did the alien tie his shoes? With an astroknot.

An ex-military veterinarian who specializes in animals wounded in war… is a Vet Vet for Vet Pets

One morning, the CEO of an airline company asked his chief procurement officer: — So, what’s the deal with airline food?

Oedipal Arrangements …just like your mom used to make.

2 Irish queers Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael.

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ? An animal that puts you out a night !

Jesus has seen me naked and that’s why he made me funny.

My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I’m 28 now and I’m still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang 🙁

How does Alfred call batman for dinner? Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner batman!

Today TO DO list: 1) vacuum huge spider in living room 2) panic 3)throw vacuum cleaner outside 4)buy new spiderless vacuum