What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump ‘s tie

Did you hear about the fish addicted to worms? He got hooked.

What do you call a gay Chocobo? A kweer.

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds??? Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I’m so sorry!!!

Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? There was de-brie everywhere.

If pro is the opposite of con, then whats the opposite of progress? Congress

How many millennials does it take to change a light-bulb? One, but he has to create a safe-space where the light-bulb can go to avoid being offended that it’s being replaced.

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check? To the river bank!

What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? Both of them cost $100 and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed!

A bear walks into a bar… And he goes up the barman, rests his elbows on the bar, and says “I’ll have a pint… … of beer please.” And the barman says, “Why the big pause?”