How do you spot will smith in the snow? Just look for the fresh prints.

Two Irish schoolboys… 1: Hey, Pat! What’s the craic? 2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really? I thought you were only 15? 2: I am! 1: So what was it? Guiness? 2: No, it was water.

“i like a woman that’s loud in the bedroom” *wife smashes a bulldozer through the bedroom wall with 2 air horns blaring* “damn i love you”

I came out of the gym the other day and someone asked me, “How have you got that body?” I said, “I don’t know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was.”

Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand.

What’s green and smells like Ms. Piggy? The Boston Celtics

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How long is a chinese name

How many dead babies can fit inside a Bio-dumpster? 16.

What’s Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? WA-TA!