What do dwarves and midgets have in common? Very little

I was cleaning one of my garden statues and accidentally cracked part of its face I guess you could say I don’t gnome eye own strength

Dial-up internet called. They couldnt get through.

What do an 80 year old smoker and the Japanese House of Representatives have in common? They only have an erection every 4 years

If at first you don’t succeed, try drinking beer while you do it. You’ll be amazed at how much less you care.

Remember girls, you can’t say happiness… without saying penis

I don’t condone workplace violence, until someone microwaves fish in the break room.

As a guy, wearing Crocs is a lot like getting a blowjob from another man… It feels great until you look down and realize you’re a homo.

Me: I know panty hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone Bank Teller: So is this not a robbery? Me: No, It is

Did you download the new Jewber app? It doesn’t allow you to tip