My father has the heart of a lion… And also a lifetime ban from the zoo.

when I was 11 my dad saw me using deodorant, laughed, and said “that’s not how you do it.” I never asked him the right way & it haunts me

Did you hear about the hearse that got into a head on collision? Luckily only one person was found dead at the scene

Women never find it devilishly charming when I follow them into the lady’s room. Thanks a lot, “Top Gun”.

sexy night My wife started to do a striptease just for me. She asked me what should go out first. The light.

My Life: Wake up, Survive, Sleep

What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals.

*Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven’t had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?

How many Polish people does it take to be pallbearers at a funeral? Seven. Six to carry the casket and one to drag the body

My friend told me his wife talks a lot in her sleep “I know” was probably not the right answer