I need to get one of those gadgets for my camera so I can take pictures of myself. I think it’s called a narciss-stick.

Helen Keller walks into a bar… … and then a table… and then a chair.

Because of the efforts of my great grandfather, we don’t speak German in this country. That’s because he single-handedly killed 11 language teachers.

There once was a man, who on reddit Made a point but someone had just said it. So lets all raise a toast, To the amazing shitpost Where without them then we would forget it!

I love you guys with all my ass. I would say heart, but my ass is bigger.

“I saved this for thirty years so I could give it to you and you could throw it out.” – Moms

Does anyone else have a girlfriend great enough to tell them that they have herpes? Well, me neither

Did you hear about the computer that ate an entire hamburger in one go? It was a megabyte.

A man walks into a bar I’m a titty

People who criticize the year 2016 seem to have forgotten that back in May McDonald’s accidentally gave me a Chicken McNugget with my fries.