A horse walks into a bar. .. A horse walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” Sarah Jessica Parker responds, “I’m a person you know? I have feelings!”

How do redneck Na’vi get their skin tone? Blue Genes… I’ll be here all week

Apparently, you can only say “look at you! You got so big!” to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.

[interviewing for job as assassin] Me: I only have 1 rule Interviewer: lemme guess. No women or kids Me: huh? No, I just won’t work weekends

The life of a dog living on the street is… …RUFF, RUFF-RUFF, RUFF!

Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I’m a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite

DO NOT talk about molestation It’s a touchy subject

Why would anyone become an architect when everything you do gets destroyed in an X-Men movie?

Racist, Sexist, Nasty, and/or Terrible jokes that makes us questions your morals. I’ll start! Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? A: *None, feminists can’t change anything*!

What did the charlie hebdo attackers said after being caught ? “Hey , they drew first”