There have been many time in 2010, when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, bugged you… today I just wanna tell you… I plan to continue in 2011!

yo mamma so fat she sat on her ipod and made it an ipad

New Show Magic Show Idea I’m going to start a magic show at a funeral home and call it Abra Cadavera Hour

Whats the hardest part about slaughtering a pig? He keeps saying “I have a wife and kids, please don’t kill me, I’m just doing my job”

[Jaws 5] Shia LaBeouf: Wait, is that a real shark? Spielberg: ACTION!!

Person on this home improvement show said everybody needs “a good screwing surface.” Can’t argue with that logic.

When is a door NOT a door? When it’s ajar.

My grandfather came back from the war… …with a single arm. To this day, we still have no idea whose it is

Mother: I raised you both as a mother and a father. Son: Go fuck your self.

I’m a kleptomaniac It’s ok though, I’m taking something for it