My dad was a good man, he raised five boys…. Without the rest of us knowing

What do you say to a two headed monster? Hello hello.

Two muffins are baking one says to the other “Hey man you got a light?”

What do you call it when a DJ doesn’t wear a period appropriate costume? Era Error

The NFL sent a memo reminding players to treat women reporters with respect. Oh, and to try real hard not to rape anyone this season.

“Hippos are actually more dangerous than crocodiles and sharks combined.” – Moron who clearly hasn’t pictured a Crocoshark.

When life hands you melons, make sure you squeeze them fast before you get slapped.

Guy tells a psychiatrist he has a fear of commitment. Psychiatrist says, “There’s no need to worry. I only do that in extreme cases.”

What do you call the Japanese police force? Kawaii Five-0

What’s the most privileged fish? A Great White shark.