How do you castrate an Amish man? Kick his sister in the jaw.

DATING TIP: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium.

How often does Mary see her special friend? Periodically.

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I’ve never paid to have lentil on me.

*raises the bar 16 yrs later] Bar: even though you weren’t my real father I always wanted to call you, dad. Dad. *me trying not to cry

A hobbit walks into a bar It was very low down.

What’s brown and rhymes with snoop…? Dr Dre

Everyone keeps telling me… Everyone keeps telling me “There are plenty of fish in the sea” and I keep telling them “NO way in hell, I am gonna fuck a fish”

What’s with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?

I heard Reddit likes puns so I posted ten of them thinking at least one would reach the first page No pun in ten did