Knock, knock Who’s there? Cecile. Cecile who? Cecile the d-door! There’s a m-monster outs-s-side!

What’s the difference between a snow-man and a snow-woman? Snowballs.

I’m beginning to think rappers exaggerate a Lil.

When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted. Now the police call that Identity theft.

You always have to be extra careful when driving through a predominantly black neighborhood at night. Because black people are super hard to see in the dark.

Nicknames How do you get bob from “robert” ? -no answer How do you get billy from “william”? -no answer how do you get dick from “richard”? -ask nicely

I like my tumors like I like my bingo numbers… B9

Waking up alone with morning wood is one of the hardest things in life. [NSFW]

“These orthodontic shoes are really great!” – don’t you mean *orthopedic*? “I stand corrected.”

Who cares if you pee in the shower? The bride and all her guests, apparently.