Boob Size Grades A —> Almost Boobs B —> Barely there C —> Can’t Complain! D —> Damn! DD —> Double damn! E —> Enormous! F —> Fake G —> Get a reduction!

Hoarding’s great. Collectively speaking.

Heres a good joke: Women’s Rights.

Given how many times they’ve been screwed by hurricanes, it’s time to change the name of the Virgin Islands.

4-year-old from next door got a whistle for his birthday and I got 1 phone call.

How do you know Kurt Cobain didn’t have dandruff? A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch.

Q: What is rhubarb? A: Celery with high blood pressure.

“What kind of house does cheese like to live in?” “A cottage”

Generally, the phrases “I’m sorry” and “I apologise” are used synonymously… But not at a funeral.

How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don’t have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off.