What’s the best thing about having sex with 29 year olds? There’s 20 of them…

Yo mama so fat, the sorting hat put her in all four houses.

I make out with guys that wear Abercrombie & Fitch cologne because it rubs off on me & I love how it smells, but shopping there is SOOO gay.

A video montage of all the times my foot, still wet from the shower, has clung to my underwear as I pull them on, and I’ve lost my balance.

How do you starve a neurosurgeon? Hide his paycheck with his kids.

Unappreciated diet tip: If you want to lose a significant amount of weight, it’s important to start out really fat.

Latino soap operas where no one seems to have locks on their doors and people burst in at odd hours demanding the truth

Breaking Ne ws

a fun pastime in America is driving teenage starlets into utter madness and then enjoying a hearty laugh afterwards

What did the Mexican put under his carpet? Underlay! Underlay!