I had to ground my son for cursing. He turned the girl next door into a frog.

What vehicle does Hitler use to fly ? Heil-acopter

The NFL’s Refs

I read that having sex every day for a year could transform your marriage. It worked so well I’m thinking of suggesting it to my wife.

I really wish I knew who kicked the jack under the car which I was working on.. .. the suspension is killing me.

My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less I told him to stop getting in the shower with me

Your liver is the only organ that can regenerate itself. I believe that calls for a drink… Cheers!

I just put BOTH my legs into one pajama pant leg…making me a MERMAID!

What’s musical and useful at the grocery store? A Chopin Liszt Note: taken from one of those horrible “Joke of the Day” desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever.

My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.