Every human being on earth has mentally retained far too many of the lyrics to “Barbie Girl.”

‘Twas the day before Lent, and when it was done, not a creature was sober, not even a nun.

Confucius Say It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.

How do you make an octopus laugh? By giving it ten tickles *badumts*

Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can’t even.

I like my coffee the way I like my slaves… Free.

I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption “it’s cold” could you tell me more about that

Whale dad joke ‘Dad, where did I come from?’ ‘From my penis’ ‘Oh…thanks.’ ‘You’re whalecum.’

the existence of groundhog implys the existence of skyhog, treehog, oceanhog

Just moved out on my own and am doing really well… All my bills say im outstanding