What do you call it when a red head gets a tooth infection? Gingervitus.

What did the grand child say to his drowning grandpa? Paddle Pop!

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… …never drink and derive.

Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

I want a coffee so rich and bold it has a cabin in the woods where it hunts humans for sport.

Yes, Firefox. I will abort the script but only to save the life of the web page.

What do you call a T-Rex that’s been weightlifting all day? Dino-sore

Why isnt Monica Lewinsky voting for Hillary? The last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.

Me: when is the pizza ready? Dad: will you wait! Me: I DID MY WAITING Dad: oh god no Me: TWELVE YEARS Dad: not again Me: IN AZKABAN

I named my son Gram It’s short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period.