My wife got in the shower with me this morning. She said “Mmm baby I want you to do bad things to me”. So I put shampoo in her eyes.

What’s the difference between Reddit and Facebook? About a day

How did Satan turn an unbeliever holy? He scared the hell out of him.

Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash. It was the left wing.

Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child’s name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace

What’s brown and sticky? A stick. My combo joke: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

What happened to Windows 9 Windows 7 “Eight” Nine…

“The first guy to suggest peeing on a jellyfish sting was called a pervert but it worked” I said to my wife as she complained of a toothache

Stop screaming! I thought you’d appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower

If you were a triangle youd be acute one.