Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?

How did the depressed man get around town? Moped

Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife’s is around $643.27. Apparently

What do a veterinary clinic and kpop fans have in common? Euthanasia

“United Airlines? More like DIVIDED Airlines” he said as thunderous applause erupted in the terminal, wild cheers & all the old folks crying

What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A Brunette with bad breath.

I’m bad at math, So the equation 2n +2n is 4n to me.

[Rock Paper Scissors Best of 7 Championship] *down 3 games to 0 against Edward Scissorhands* MY COACH: Stop choosing paper!

Wife asked me to get “bath stuff” for xmas. Hope she likes her toaster.

Funny Comeback Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father! son: ….. son: sure, whatever dad. FIVE HOURS LATER Dad: so how was your exam? Son: who the hell are you?