What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League? The Starry Knight

What was the precursor to USB? USA

I’m not a proctologist … … but I know an asshole when I see one.

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building? About 16 seconds

Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid? He was totally bow-gus!

What did one egg say to the other? It’s just a Yolk!!

What do you call a tight butthole? a noose

Why the musician sold his computer… Not enough gigs.

Dogs on a coffee break Dog 1: Heard a great joke… Dog 2: Oh yeah? Dog 1: Knock kn- Dog 2 goes fucking crazy

My mate in Scotland reckons his scrotum got to -273 degrees last night. I reckon that’s absolute bollocks