How are blind kids punished by their parents? The parents move the furniture.

Monday mornings shouldn’t start until noon.

People assume I have a small penis because I have a Ferrari. It’s actually the other way round.

Wife: 2 is driving me crazy and I want to drive off a cliff. Me: No I need the car.

What’s the hardest kind of waffle to find? A Carmen Sandy Eggo

As I’ve been teaching myself how to use GIS again, I’ve been listening to a lot of Eminem. And I’m beginning to feel just like a map god, map god.

As it is Alabama, It wouldn’t be proper without the traditional speech… From the father of the bride and groom.

What kind of fun do priests have? Nun

Having sex is like playing bridge….!!!! If you don’t have a good partner,you better have a good hand…

interviewer: why do you want this job me: i’ve just always been very passionate about not starving to death