Why did Beyonce sing “to the left, to the left” ? Because she knew Niggas have no right.

[caveman scratches a cave painting of an elephant onto the cave wall] ELEPHANT: delete it

Why was Windows afraid of 7? Because 7 8 10.

What did the phone say to the other phone after a bad rejection? If you like it then you shudda put a ringtone on it.

You know what I hate about Reddit? [Removed]

If you could choose between 1 billion dollars and world peace… What would the color of your new Lamborghini be?

I put a tiny bow tie on a ladybug so you could tell he was a male. It looks adorable except for he’s dead now.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!

Pro Tip: You can slap anybody, as hard as you want, as long as you yell “spider” first. They may even thank you.

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things? A mountain gloat.