yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.

[Wildebeest orbiting the earth in a spacesuit, uselessly kicking its legs madly every time a really grassy part comes into view]

Telling my wife I’m taking her someplace fancy is my way of getting 4 hours to myself while she gets ready.

Did you hear about the testicular cancer survivor who won the lottery? …when he found out, the guy went nut.

Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, “I think we’re doing this joke wrong”.

Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer? The hooker because she can wash her crack and sell it again.

Bob just couldn’t nail his roll down.. .. So he just decided to screw it.

Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.

5 Brazilian dollars sounds like a lot of money… However, with the current exchange rate its only about $1.35 USD

Blind dates are the best because they can’t see me stealing all of the food from their plate