Why did the jalapeno put on a sweater? Because he was a little chile

I like my TVs like I like my women… Smart and curved.

How many Cowboys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they have Giants for that kinda shit.

As a child my girlfriend loved train sets Most of my adult friends thinks its weird she still plays with them. I think it’s perfectly normal for a 6 year old.

Pythagoras was a skeptic… …but now he believes in angles

eer booze and fun!’ ‘Contrary to what people say you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes you get so calm you can’t move.

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4. 1 to hold the bulb and 3 to drink until the room spins.

STUDENT: what’s it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.

I’m not the best at giving advice when it comes to tequila So you’ll have to take it with a grain of salt…

Dark comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it.